I've heard it before..."One of the perks of being a foreigner is getting away with ignorance..." In the beginning, I chuckled at this idea. Then I got angry before trying to understand this issue firsthand and why it affected me so much.
In my case, I can't feign to ignorance because most Koreans here assume that I "can't be a Westerner". It may not factor into their collective consciousness that I am Asian-American, however, many Koreans know that I "can't be a native Korean" either. Koreans, and although this is a sweeping generality or half truth, feel that they are comfortable to be around me even though social cues and communication messages aren't completely understood between us. Why? It's because I LOOK Asian (because I am and it is true) or that I can assimilate into Korean society (not entirely true).
Yes, I have never gotten the following privileges by playing the "foreigner (ahem, looking white) card":
- Getting your photo taken by Koreans
- Having children go up to you with a scripted "Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you...",
- Discounts or even free admission to certain venues
- Complimented on language ability (even though it is just a mere "hello" in Korean).
I would like to be appreciated. I think everyone deserves to be appreciated, not because of how one looks, but because of what one does to oneself and to others.
On a much deeper level, being invisible because I am Asian is not a plus or minus. It is who I am and it is what I must deal with in life.
In fact, dealing with adversity and overcoming barriers is what defines a person. We don't strive to do things because they are easy but because there is meaning and value in hard work. Hardships? Yes, there is certainly a lot of those. Being defined a "Chinaman" is not just confined to one location, it also exists in Korea. I've been cast as "second-rate" because I am Chinese, others failing to acknowledge that I am also American.
Jim Yong Kim, President of the World Bank, said it best. "If you think this country owes you anything, you're crazy...You have to get a skill...You're a Chinaman."
Link: On Leadership: Dartmouth College President Jim Yong Kim
No matter how good one's ability may be in reality or perception, as an Asian, you won't be acknowledged until you become of use to someone or to society. Even then, you only have five minutes of fame at the very best. You're a judge of one, who most continue to do one's best with the best intentions, and not compare oneself to others.
For example, if I hear another rant that my Korean is awful, which it is, then that fuels my determination to do well on the next Korean Proficiency Exam (TOPIK) and the reason for why I study every night (although I should study better). In terms of "getting a skill", that's something I'm continually trying to work on especially once I settle back in the US.
There's another issue regarding perception and that is American students, who think they are great in science. Read: Kids With Fat Heads. While it may be somewhat (not entirely) true for people outside of East Asia to claim that Asians lack creativity or tend to have higher suicide rates because they are overachievers and hard workers, test results constitute as hard facts, and boy, do they hurt.
It does strike me that Koreans, even my students, for example, are not proud or even acknowledge their achievements. In a culture that values modesty and avoids boastfulness, level of perceived ability is lower than their actual ability. They will find mistakes and faults in themselves but it can be a good thing too. The constant drive to better oneself as long as that power does not cause one to be destructive.
And with that final thought, my eyes are getting heavier. After eating a Twix bar as a midnight snack, it's time to call it a night. After all, it's what else--an early trip to the library tomorrow morning to study, of course!
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